The inevitable 14th of May

Ang bilis ng panahon. July na pala. Parang kelan lang nung pumasok ang taon na ito tapos eto nangangalahati na pala tayo. Parang kelan lang din nung binalot ang pamilya namin ng sobrang lungkot. After almost 5 years of battling a Primitive Neuroectodermal tumor that metastasized to the bone, Mama already returned to where she really belongs. This is actually the first time that am writing about her death, kasi parang hanggang ngayon I dont want to think that she is really gone. I’d like to make believe that she just went on vacation sa Japan sa kapatid ko na nandon. It had been almost 2 months now, but you see, the pain is still there. I could still feel the pain of having to deal with everything that day. I am the eldest among three sibling and the only daughter. I have always been the one to decide on her medications and everything that concerns her health. She have always given me that task since the time I transferred her from the care of one hospital to another. She never hesitated that I will make a right decision. Pero, napakahirap pala na mag decide pag naiipit ka sa gitna ng dalawang choices na parehong mahirap piliin. I ended up asking help from my younger brothers, sabi ko kaming tatlo ang mag decide kung ipapadala namin sya sa ICU that day. Kahit na nasa Japan ang isang kapatid ko, we decided as one. Mahirap pumili, it’s like choosing the less evil from two evils. But is has to be done. At exactly, 2pm of May 14, we decided to bring her sa ICU and wait from there. That decision meant that we are waiving our right to stay by her side, which we know na ayaw nya. She does not want to be alone and we know that. But we cant just stare at her and see her die in pain. Kelangan naming ibaba sya sa ICU. When I entered the ICU room to be with her and see her condition, I talked to her and tell her how sorry I am to let her be in that room but this is how things should go. I informed her that the equipments in that room cannot be transferred to her private room kaya kelangan talaga sya ang ibaba. Well, she can no longer talk dahil sa respirator na nakakabit sa kanya. I felt really sad seeing her so helpless. Sanay pa naman kami na sya ang kinukunan ng lakas ng loob. I felt so sad because she keeps on pressing my hand as if telling me that she is gonna be okay. Pinisil nya ang kamay ko at ewan ko ba kung imagination ko lang na parang hinihila nya ko nung magpaalam ako sa kanya na kalangan ko nang lumabas sa kwarto nya kasi may iba pa syang bisita na gusto syang makita. I kept on her telling her to fight and to stay longer for each of us, for all of the dreams we haven’t fulfilled yet. Pero, God has His way. He decided to end her life that day, the inevitable 14th of May 2008 at exactly 10:35pm. Well, almost two months have passed but then di ko pa rin maiwasan na maiyak as I write this down, ni hindi ko nga maisulat ng buo ang details ng araw na yun. Mahirap. Napakahirap mawalan ng isang Ina. The good thing is pinatapos nya muna ang mother’s day bago sya umalis kasi alam nya siguro na mas masakit sa aming lahat kung wala na sya nung mother’s day. She went home to her Creator exactly 3 days after we have celebrated what we will always remember to be her last mother’s day.

You will always be remembered, Mama. Your memories will stay long after you have gone.

He really can sing

What good to start blogging again than by bragging about a song recorded by my brother. Yes, the song below has my youngest brother’s voice. He did it for a company’s event. Haynaku, tagal ko na kasi kinukulit itong mokong na ito na mag audition sa mga singing competitions eh. Sabi ko pa nga eh di dapat dalawa na tayong nakikita sa TV kasi I will be his talent manager. Anyways, a good singing voice runs in the family but then I am an exemption to that, haha! My mom and other titas used to sing sa mga barrio competitions noong mga dalagita pa lang sila sa provincia. To which, they always bring home the bacon. Lolo trained them and he was also their guitarist. Kaya, yes tama ang hula nyo, videoke is a staple pag merong okasyon sa pamilya namin. At kahit pa maging sementeryo ang puntahan namin at walang kuryente, di sila papapigil sa videoke. Haha!, kesehodang bumangon ang mga nananahimik, carry lang kasi talagang magaganda ang mga boses nila. Oh well, enough with the bragging. kayo na po ang bahalang humusga sa future ng brother ko sa singing at sana tulungan nyo ako na hikayatin sya.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Treasure Box

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,career, and life itself got in the way.In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams.There, in the rush of his busy life,Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old news reel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. “Jack, did you hear me?””Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.”Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.”I loved that old house he lived in,”Jack said.”You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said”He’s the one who taught me carpentry,”he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture….Jack stopped suddenly. “What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.”The box is gone,” he said”What box?” Mom asked.”There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,'” Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it,except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.”Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”It had been about two weeks since Mr.Belser died.

Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read. Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. “Mr.Harold Belser” it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside. “Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched thecover. Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! -HaroldBelser.” “The thing he valued most was…my time” Jack held the watch for a few minutes,then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked. “I need some time to spend with my son,” he said.”Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”